A new beginning.

I have decided that 2011 is going to be a year of new beginnings for me. First thing I am going to do to achieve that is I am signing up for my very first 5k walk/run. The run isn't until March, but starting tomorrow, I will be training. It's a tough training schedule, and it's going to take a lot of work..but I'm ready to do this for me! I still want to have gastric bypass, but I know that I have to get my diabetes under control first. So I am also trying to concentrate on me more..which I find hard. I am the type of person to help and do anything for others..and never do anything for me. I'm not saying that I am never going to do things for others. That is something I do get personal satisfaction from. I really don't know what other new things are in store for me this year. I am just looking forward to everything (except deployment.ha) that 2011 has to offer me!

Update on us.

Well yet again I find myself neglecting my blog. It has been several months since my last post. We have survived a ton of underways, Sara's birthday and the holidays. We are now on the official countdown to deployment. It's creeping up on us way faster then I want it to but that is how it usually happens..or so I'm told. I thought I had everything figured out as far as how Sara and I were going to spend this deployment and now everything has changed. We were going to let Sara finish school and then head to Oregon in June, spend the summer there and then come back to Florida for Sara to start back to school the end of August and wait for Steven to return home sometime in September or October. Now we are going to try go to Oregon for Christmas after Steven returns from deployment. We can't afford to do both and I don't think it is fair for Sara and I to be able to go and visit and not Steven. I know there will be times that, that will happen and that is fine, but if we can hold off and go as a family then that would be fair.

As for what for sure will be happening while Steven is away, I will be losing weight. Sara and I will be getting out of the house more. And because Steven will most likely be gone for Sara's 9th birthday I would like to make it one that she won't forget, her daddy is her world so not having him at her party is making it all that much harder. Ok have to stop talking about that awful D word...lol

Where has the time gone?

My baby girl is going to turn 8 in 18 days. Whoa! And she starts 2nd grade on Monday. I don't know that I am ready for her to be 8 yet. But she tells me NO every time I ask her to stop growing up. This year is going to be a great year for her. We are signing her up for girl scouts and maybe either gymnastics or dance.

This is Sara at 3 days old. The day we left the hospital. 9/9/02


And this is today. 8/19/10

Life

Wow! It's been a day or 2 since I have blogged..lol.

Well an update is defiantly in order. Ok, where to start...hmm. I told you that we got orders to Mayport Florida. Since then we have packed up, said goodbyes (hardest thing to do), went home to Toledo for a little over a month, and moved across country, and been through our first (mini) deployment. But that is the short version.

I was totally excited to move to Florida..a new adventure, a new coast..somewhere to make new great friends and wonderful family memories. Now I am totally homesick and well I don't know that I am homesick..but I don't know what I am. I miss my friends I had in California more then I miss my family most days. My heart aches at times because I miss them so much. I haven't made that many friends here. One I have connected with very well but that's about it. I know it takes time but I am not a patient person when it comes to making friends. I hate to be lonely and while it has been a great faith builder, I am tired of being lonely.

As far as the move went, we had some frustrations with getting what was rightfully ours as in money wise from the Navy..but it all got worked out and it was good. The part that I HATED was saying goodbye to some very close friends and their children. It absolutely broke my heart when Emmalee asked if she could go with me and I had to tell her no..for the first time. Usually when I leave their house and she wants to go I don't hesitate to take her with me. She was so upset she couldn't go with her Jess...as I'm typing this I can see her face and my heart breaks all over again. While I am grateful for facebook and yahoo messenger..the internet in general..it's just not the same. I want to go back and see everyone but I fear that I will just be hurting people in the end because that dreadful moment of saying goodbye would just approach us all to quickly.

After the tears had been dried, and an awful nights rest Hannah, Sara, the dogs and I started our drive to Oregon. This was Hannah and I's first long road trip together and while I knew that we were going to have fun, I was a little nervous. We have totally differant views on how long to drive, and when to stop..but it was great! We had fun, no arguements. We made some memories...like dragging out the laptop to log into her classes...I logged in for her as she was driving up I5. It was great....she got to attend class and we didnt have to waste any driving time. We made the trip in 2 days..which is normal. We got to surprise people because we ended up leaving California a day early..and it was great to see their faces when we just showed up. About 2 weeks after we got to Oregon Steven was able to join us and we enjoyed alot of time visiting with friends and family.

On May 1st Hannah and PJ got married. Sara and I were in the wedding...it was beautiful!

Then May 3rd we headed out on our first ever cross country trip. It was a lot of fun, a little stressful but a lot of memories were made. We were able to stop for dinner with great friends and mentors Dean and Teri. We met their foster children and had a wonderful visit. A few days later we were able to stop and visit my aunt Joyce and uncle Ray. They let us stay at their house for the night and it was great to catch up with them and eat some yummy home cooked food.

We arrived in Mayport May 11th. We checked into our house the next day. The house is nice..a bit small but nice. Not to long after getting settled Steven left for deployment. He was only gone for 6 weeks. Doesn't seem bad right...well its a whole lot different if you don't know anyone in town. Or where anything is. It was a lonely 6 weeks but we made it through. My faith has become stronger through this. We found a church that we both really love and Sara really enjoys the kids programs they have.

Now we are preparing for Sara to return to school. This summer has been filled with ups and downs but some good memories. We continue to explore the area. And although the humidity gets to me I like Florida.

NEVER FORGET!

Where were you on this horrible day 8 years ago?

I was living in Steven's grandmothers basement. I got a call really early from Steven saying that I needed to get down to his house. Thank goodness it was just around the corner. So I got up, got dressed, and headed around the corner to his house. I got in the house and saw Betty crying, and this look of shock on Steven's face. I asked what was wrong and they told me that the WTC tower 1 had just been hit by a plane. As I turned to the tv tower 2 was hit. At that moment I called in to work, telling them that I wouldn't be there. I got such a sick feeling. I get that same sick feeling everytime i happen to think about 9/11 and on the anniversary of that day.

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So much to do, So little time....

But we can't start anything just yet.

We have decided that Sara and I will go to Oregon 2 weeks before Steven. We will leave no later then March 31st. Sara goes on spring break starting the 26th. Hannah is flying down from Oregon and us 3 girls, the dogs and some of our stuff will make the 2 day road trip home. Steven will stay in the barracks until he can check out of the command. That will happen around the 15th of April. He will then fly up to Oregon. We will spend approx. 2 weeks there. Sara and I are in Hannah and PJ's wedding on May 1st. We will head to Florida on the 3rd or 4th.

We have to wait til January to be put on the housing list in Mayport. We have to decide what is best for our older dog, Buster. I really don't know how he would handle the long trip to the east coast. He does ok going to Oregon, but this will be a much longer trip and he is getting old.

We have to start setting up our move on smartwebmove.com in January as well. We have to decide what the movers are moving and what we are bringing with us in the car. We have to decide if we are going to get a trailer from u haul or not.

I feel like time is going to start flying by..school has started, Sara turns 7 on Sunday. I updated my calender on my blackberry and I can not believe everything that is going on in the next few months. Birthdays, baby showers, in laws visiting, holidays, and just day to day life.

I can't wait to see our new house, meet new people, explore a new state. But at the same time every time I think about leaving here I cry. Can I just pack my friends and take them with me please?? I have been very lucky and met some incredible women and men at this duty station. I have laughed, cried, been a shoulder for them, seen their kids grow up into amazing little people, felt a little of every emotion possible with all of them. I am forever grateful for each and every person I have met here. I love all of you!! I thank God for the support that these women have given and are giving me. No one will ever really know the extent of my gratefulness. This was my first time being more then an hour away from family. It has made me grow in so many ways. I don't know where I would be right now if it weren't for my friends. Can ya tell i love them? LOL.

update since school has started.

Well we are on day 3 of first grade for Sara. She seems to be adjusting well to the more work and less play. This is her first year having a male teacher so that has been an adjustment as well. We have set up a new after school schedule that allows Sara to have some free time and also get her homework done and in bed on time. She has mentioned pretty often that she wants more family play time so we put an hour every night during the week for it..and then weekends are just kinda whatever time.

Steven is doing good at work. He is studying really hard for his wings and for his E5 exam. He is a little nervous about his wings since its a verbal board to go in front of. But in my opinion he will do great!

As for me, Im doing better. I am starting to eat better..get out of the house more. I have my first "appt" on the 27th of Aug for my gastric bypass surgery. This first one is just a seminar. But I have to do it so I will. I really just want the surgery to be here so I can be on the road to a healthier me. I have also volunteered to help my friend Beth with some projects she is doing.